"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world." -Richard Dawkins

Friday, November 26, 2010

Oh My Gosh I Cut Her Hair

Stop panicking! Yes you, I see you back there, panicking. I knew there would be at least one of you. Everyone who knows my kid knows that she has these luxurious reddish curls that just trail off into the distance like some kind of windsock of glory. I swear, I love them too, but I think most of you don't realize that her hair is really stupid.

She was born baldish, save this little patch of hair at the nape of her neck, and that hair just kept growing and growing and growing until she became the Mulleteer.

Like- that's some bad hat, Harry.

Four years, three months later, it has never. been. cut. And she has this long, beautiful hair with this one. stupid. rat-tail length that sticks out from the back. See? (The Mullet II: Mullet's Return.)

And it has been driving me nuts lately! So I did it. I cut that hair. Which I had every intention to never do and make her grow up Pentecostal. It felt scary, like I was going against the word of God, like bad Catholic style. It was like that scene in Aladdin when Abu knows he's not supposed to touch anything in the Cave of Wonders but then he gets drawn to the giant ruby in the monkey's paw and the next thing they know the whole cave has fallen in and it's game over, man.

That's my kid, the Cave of Wonders. DO NOT TOUCH.

Oh man, but I had to. So I set her down in front of Sleeping Beauty on my laptop and wrapped a white shirt around her and...


Snip snip!

 She was totally thrilled with the whole thing. Didn't mind one bit- Gelfling face to show for it.

Of course I saved the curls! That's my baby's first hair, right there!


  1. Oh my goodness, what a big milestone! Love her curls and so glad you saved them :)

  2. She DOES look like a gelfling! "Yesss, make peace, pllleasssee, make peace..."